STOP CHILD ABUSE TODAY
This blog is dedicated to all the children in this world. I am a mom and wife raising safe and healthy child and I am very thankful for being able to offer a safe and healthy environment to my child! I myself grew up in very abusive home. I want to share my wisdom, my thoughts and what I have learned throughout my life. I want to share information and resources and hopefully help one child at the time!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Tantrums
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Why is it so important to be Positive?
Saturday, May 22, 2010
What Can I Do To Prevent Child Abuse?
What You Can Do To Prevent Child Abuse
- Learn about child abuse and neglect.
- Be alert to the "Red Flags."
- Be prepared to make a report.
- Do something.
- Speak up.
- Support National Child Abuse Prevention Month in April.
- Advocate for services to help families.
- Ask your local television stations to have non-violent programs for children.
- Support your local Child Abuse Council.
- Support the victim.
- Find help for yourself if you are overwhelmed.
- Empower the community to respond.
- Take a child or family under your wing.
- Become a foster parent or grandparent.
- Encourage your church, social and community organizations to provide outreach to at-risk families.
- Lobby your community leaders to address the problem.
- Volunteer your time.
- Don't turn your back on a situation.
- Ask your school to provide prevention education to the children.
- Talk to your kids about personal safety and body limits.
- Be sensitive to the needs of troubled or isolated families.
- Your job is to simply report what the child tells you, not to investigate the situation.
- Attempts to investigate may:
- Tip off the perpetrator and cause them to flee or destroy evidence.
- Cause a child to retract if they think you don't believe them.
- Reassure the child that they did the right thing by telling you and they are not to blame
- Don't promise them that you won't "tell"
- Tell the child that what you plan to do to help protect them
- Talk with the child if they need to vent - be ready to listen and be supportive
- Be respectful of the child's need for, or dislike of touching while trying to comfort them…do so with caution and only with the child's permission
- Consider helping the child get professional counseling
- Mandated Reporters are not required by law to tell the parent/caretaker that a report has been made. However, one should keep in mind that parents/caretakers are not always the perpetrators and may not be aware that their child exhibits signs of abuse.
- Find a place to help with your feelings too.
- At higher risk for serious injury.
- Stories are generally truthful.
- Don't know abuse is serious…their value of right and wrong is based on family behavior.
- More prone to self-report abuse.
- More aware of "normal" family behavior due to exposure to other families.
- Tend to be protective of substance abuse parents or caretakers - role reversal.
- Sexual abuse is often disclosed when family incest interferes with normal teenage relationships.
- Disclosure of abuse may have a "hidden agenda" such as revenge or anger towards parent or caretaker.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Don't try to be right!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Tantrums? Time outs....yes or no?
Kids can act out and it makes us crazy. They throw things, have tantrums, argue with us and the list goes on.....
BUT have you ever STOPED and thought about WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO TELL US by acting this way?
Being the civil adults that we are, we try to use words like “Be nice to your friend.” and “We don’t throw toys.” But … they just don’t listen! So we move on from using our words to using our force. Have you ever think, “maybe I am not using the right words”?
The thinking is that, if the punishment is painful enough, we won’t have to endure that disruptive behavior ever again. That’ll teach them! WRONG! It will not teach them anything, but only to be afraid and to hide their emotions and they will not know how to understand and how to deal with their emotions.
Yes or No to Time-outs. .... some say ...... One minute per year of child’s age. Forced apology. When the steps are followed to the T, time-outs appear to be completely successful. Child says “I’m sorry” and the disruptive behavior stops. WRONG! Some children do not feel sorry because they are too young to trully understand the meaning of "sorry" and feel sorry, they say it because it is expected from them.
So what’s the problem? Children, use their actions to express their emotions. They throw tantrums when they are just so frustrated they don’t know what to do. They hit their little sister when they are feeling jealous and angry. Every disruptive behavior is a result of strong emotion.
When children are punished for their behavior, the underlying emotion remains unaddressed. When we prevent the emotions from being expressed with a certain behavior, children have two options.
1) They learn to stifle their emotions.
2) They express their emotions through other disruptive behaviors.
Time-outs do not provide kids with safe and effective ways of expressing their strong emotions. Furthermore, they make children feel shame for having the emotions to begin with. Children read punishments as a withdrawal of love. When parental love is withheld, children feel as if there is something wrong with them. Shame and a sense of conditional love are direct consequences of time-outs and other punishments.
So, what to do when children are “acting out”? Instead of trying to stop the behavior, parents are better off acknowledging and validating it.
“It looks like you are feeling angry.”
By focusing on your child’s feelings, rather than his behaviors, you validate his emotions and are able to provide him with safe ways of expressing himself.
Most importantly, you are also showing him that, even when he is angry, your love for him is unconditional and you are here to listen and understand his feelings and to show him how to express his feelings in different ways.
Friday, April 23, 2010
What To Do BUT Not To Hurt Your Child!
COUNT TO 10
when you feel frustrated, when you feel the tension, when you feel overwhelmed. Before You do anything, before you say anything Count to 10 out loud!
- Take a DEEP breath. Remember this is your little innocent child who you need to PROTECT! She/ He can not protect themself. She/ He is a part of you and depends on you and your love and care. You want your child to be happy and love you.
- Close your eyes and imagine you are hearing what your child is about to hear, or receiving the same punishment.
- Press your lips together and count as long as you need to.
- Put yourself in a "time-out" chair. Are you really angry at the child or is it something else?
- Call a friend to talk about it. If you need to, dial 1-800-4-A-CHILD (National Child Abuse Hotline).
- Take a hot bath or splash cold water on your face.
- Turn on some music.
- Give your Child a hug and tell him/ her I LOVE YOU
- If someone can watch the children, go out for a walk...TAKE A BREAK. Ask for HELP
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
HELP
Child Abuse
Childhelp's National Child Abuse Hotline
800-4-A-CHILD (800-422-4453)
Child Care
Child Care Aware
1-800-424-2246
Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233)
TDD 1-800-787-3224
Missing and Exploited Children
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)
Runaway Youth
National Runaway Switchboard
1-800-621-4000
National Human Trafficking Resource Center
National Human Trafficking Resource Center
1-888-3737-888
Prevent Child Abuse