I say this, because to my big dissaponintment I still find many parents today ignoring their child's cry saying, "ooh she is just having a tantrum i have to ignore her"
It breaks my heart! Who ever said to ignore your child when she/ he is upset was I think wrong !
My succesfully tested approach is:
1. find out WHY your child is having a "tantrum".
2. label the FEELING she/ he is having for yourself and your child ( is she/he upset, angry, frustrated,..?)
3. tell her/him WHAT behavior you expect from her/him
4. explain what she/ hi is doing wrong
this way your child knows and understands that what they are feeling is OK, but the way they are dealing with the feeling is unacceptable. Now they know what is expected of them, so give them some time to calm down (you can call this time ignoring if you like, but i call it "calm down" time) and tell them that you know they can do better next time.
It is ok to be frustrated....everyone gets frustrated...what is important, is to know how to deal with the feelings in an appropriate way. Don't expect your child to know how, you need to explain it many times in loving way and practice, practice, practice
always with LOVE :)
How could we parents expect our children to know how to deal with problems and feelings, If we parents do not explain it to our children???!
...one more reminder: DO NOT be AFRAID to ask for HELP. BE PROUD to ASK FOR HELP!
